Back in the day we were both naked innocent hippies living off the land in Hana. You’ve since made it clear you aren’t a friend, but I remained polite to you, as I live by “The Four Agreements,” one of which is “don’t take things personally.” Yesterday I greeted you in Mana Foods (although your demeanor indicates I’m not worth speaking to) and you continued shopping—until you realized I could have contact info you wanted for a mutual girlfriend. You slithered over and asked for it. My cell was in the car so I shared my home number, on which you left a message. On the way home I reflected on the many times you’ve treated me with insensitivity and coolness, asking about my ex and other people, but never about my life. I realized I’d had enough. It brought a smile to my face to delete your message without listening to it, just in case you were wondering why I didn’t respond. Why be nice to an energy vampire? Adios!