You’re a nasty bar owner with no integrity, so I suppose it’s not surprising you fired your three best girls by voicemail. Or that you didn’t even hint at what they may or may not have done to bring down such wrath. Guess that’s the thanks they get for tripling your business and keeping quiet about the rats and cockroaches that infest your establishment. But why’d you have to go and waste their Christmas bonuses on discounted lava lamps and plastic surgery? And what a fabulous idea it was to make a manager out of your pig of a boyfriend—the same guy you already fired once before. We all wondered why you would stick with such a fat slob, but I guess it’s a reminder that you’re only as good as the company you keep. So go ahead and keep raising your drink prices while lowering your pour counts, all the while hoping your customers won’t notice. And don’t even worry that the three loyal, competent, extremely popular employees you so rudely let go are now working for your competition. You know best, right?