To the self-righteous hippie who was in such a hurry at Mana Foods that you were just flying down the aisle with your shopping cart, completely oblivious to the rest of the store’s customers, shoving people—like me—aside in your devil-may-care quest for wheat grass or broccoli soda or whatever: you make me sick. Mana Foods is a great store. I love shopping there, but being in your presence for even just a few moments made me want to grasp you vigorously by the shoulders and shake all the hypocrisy and stupidity out of your body. For someone so clearly dedicated to showing the rest of us that you really care about the Earth, you sure are self-involved and rude when confronted with individual Earthlings. So please gather up your dirty ass feet, unkempt hair, food stamps and arrogance and get back in your brand-new SUV, you irritating, un-enlightened, trustafarian son-of-a-bitch poseur. Thank you.