This one goes out to the crew of the canoe who rammed us in the last regatta. Guess that’s the only way your club can beat us—by crashing into us and breaking our canoe. I understand that collisions sometimes occur in canoe racing, but on the straightaway? Come on! And what was the deal with you whining to the officials and trying to pin the blame on us? Hello?! You folks were in Lane One and had the whole lane with no one to the left of you. Thankfully, the officials overruled your ridiculous protest and disqualified you. Look, none of us enjoy losing, but if you’re dead last and another crew is battling for first, get out of the way. Or at least just stay in your own lane. It’s called courtesy, and you might try a little of it from time to time.