Brah, are you ever dumb. After you
head-butted me at the bar, pissed off because you thought I splashed
you with my drink, you taunted me, saying “they” call you “The Pride of
Maui.” I can certainly see why they don’t call you “The Brain of Maui.”
Had you been just a bit less stupid, you would have noticed that it
was, in fact, the guy standing next to me who dropped his drink and
splashed you. Everyone standing around seemed to realize this except
you. Tell me: are “they” proud of someone with a hair-trigger temper
who attacks innocent people? And while I’m at it, just who are “they?”
Your parents? Friends? Other wanna-be thugs? I’ve got news for
you—someday you’re going to attack the wrong guy and they’re going to
start calling you “The Pride of the Prison Yard.” Real men—I’m talking
civilized, educated, respectful adults—don’t act like you. But I’m sure
you’re not concerned. And you know what? I’m not, either. See, while
you’re wasting away in jail, I’ll be relaxing on the beach with good
friends. That’s the true pride of Maui, brah.
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