Eh surfah brah: I’m sure you have fun harassing people and starting fights over waves, but we’re over it. I’ve watched you threaten to choke haoles, locals, small women and even children, all because your wife tells you that they “burned her” on a wave. Ever wonder why it happens so often? It’s because your wife likes to paddle under people, right on top of them and steal the wave. She never makes an effort to make her presence known. There’s a little thing called surfer’s etiquette, and until you guys learn it I suggest that you find somewhere else to surf. Oh yeah, maybe don’t make a habit of threatening to choke so many people over a wave: someday you gonna beef with the wrong guy…
Illustration by Ron Pitts
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