OK, so I should have asked permission before I picked limes off the tree in your yard. I guess I just saw the, like, two dozen that were sitting rotting on the ground and figured you wouldn’t miss a couple more. Also, the tree does hang over your fence, and into your neighbor’s yard, who happens to be my cousin. But whatever. If you’d come out and talked to me like a normal, civil human being, I would have gladly apologized and offered you a Corona (that’s why we wanted the limes). Instead, you come charging out like a drunk bull, half naked and swearing to high heaven. It’s just fruit, brah—try lighten up.
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