To the Lahaina surf-rat who drives around in a white SUV with surfboards on top and a bunch of crap inside: if you steal a pony keg from someone’s house, don’t think that you can go back to the brewery and get the deposit back if you don’t know the name of the person who rented it. Especially when you go to return it to the actual person who brought it to the party in the first place. For two days, you have tried to return this for a deposit that isn’t yours. You didn’t think they might not recognize the tap handle? We know who you are. If you’re that hard up, maybe beer is not what you should be drinking. As a surfer myself, I’d like to ask where’s the aloha when you steal other people’s property on other people’s property on your way up to the bay? If your only gig is as a small-time grifter, then go home. Otherwise, it’s look over your shoulder time…
Illustration by Ron Pitts
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