This is for the two drunk jerkoffs who showed up at the park when I was playing catch with my kid and started shouting unsolicited “pointers” at him, laced with vulgarities. I tried ignoring you, tried reasoning with you, tried shouting at you. Finally you forced me to stop playing with my son—something I get to do only a few hours each week because of my hectic work schedule, though I guess you wouldn’t know anything about that—and come over and get in your faces. Honestly—you’re young dudes on Maui. Was that really the best thing you could think of to do on a sunny Saturday? Sorry your dads didn’t spend more time on you.