Eh Old Man River: I know you like to sing, and you’ve actually got a decent voice. But that opera shit at five in the morning isn’t working for me. There are people who live below you; I know you know this. I also know you know I work early, because you must see me going out to my car from your balcony, where you frequently stand in your underwear when you’re not inside stretching out your vocal chords and rattling every window in a four-block radius. You’ve got a pretty impressive physique for a man your age, but again—would it kill you to throw on a robe? I guess what I’m saying is, you’re not the only person on the planet. Please stop acting like it.