To the individual or individuals who broke into my beauty salon in Lahaina, let’s hope the shampoo you stole will be put to good use because we know how much you stink! I also hope that you inhale the fumes of all the nail polish that you stole and die somewhere real soon in great pain and agony. Oh, and I also know that you weren’t particularly smart crooks, because you stole polish that needs a special light to dry it, which you didn’t take. So there!
Illustration by Ron Pitts