Eh brah, you were sitting on a low wall at the Lahaina Cannery Mall clipping your overgrown toenails. Customers were coming out of the mall, but you kept right on flicking your nails onto the sidewalk. I’ve lived here more than 20 years, and have never seen anyone do anything like this in public. I come from a world where men tip their hats to ladies, but you’re something completely different. You have no class and belong in a zoo.
Illustration by Ron Pitts