How you and your slimy band of thieves managed to move yourselves in without the usual background/credit checks–and before the first of your checks failed to clear–is a complete mystery to me. But hey, no matter… “It is what it is.” I’m supposed to accept that as an answer, and so I shall. But I cannot accept the notion that human parasites, such as yourselves, have any conceivable legal rights to continue to occupy that house (three months now and counting) rent free. The laws created to protect the rights of well-intentioned renters were never intended to provide a legal umbrella for scam artists like you. Your criminal history and string of bad checks and lies clearly indicate premeditation and anything but good intentions. If there’s a God or some kind of “Universal Justice” out there, it’s my fervent desire that you people be severely and continuously smitten until you pay what you owe.
Illustration by Ron Pitts