To the selfish couple on our street that has let their chickens run all over the place for three years now: you’re messing up our nice quiet neighborhood simply because you won’t go buy chicken coop. Haven’t you wondered why you’ve been trying to sell your house for over a year and haven’t gotten any takers? Maybe all the crazy chickens aren’t a selling point. But your realtor is selfish like you because he won’t say that you’ll never sell your place for $865,000 until you get rid of your stinkin chickens. So get rid of your chickens and then we can get rid of our bad neighbors. Everybody’s happy! A Hui Ho, losers.
Illustration: Ron Pitts