Hey neighbor: I can understand if you’re having a barbecue or cooking something, but why are you making a fire just to see the smoke? When you throw coconuts in the fire, that toxic smoke really burns the lungs. Why did you keep doing that, so much so that I had to call the fire department? You’re killing my lungs, brah, when you fill my hale with smoke! Plus, we’re in the city! Give it a rest, man, and stop wasting the fire department’s time and money. I need to breathe!
Illustration by Ron Pitts