A big mahalo goes out to you for taking care of my parrot that loves to mountain bike and my black lab that loves to eat while I was on the Mainland. Also, mahalo for taking my shampoo carpet cleaner that my tenants used as well as my spare mountain bike parts and tubes. Mahalo for not paying the discounted rent for the last two weeks, and mahalo for not cleaning the place even though you own a cleaning business. Mahalo for not paying your electric bill and for calling me a “prick,” even though I gave you three extra days to move out for free. Many mahalos for deleting me from your social media accounts, perhaps afraid that I would tell all your friends how grateful I am for your behavior.
Illustration: Ron Pitts