To the rudest lady on Maui, up at Twin Falls with her friend and their kids, you do not own Twin Falls! We were enjoying our day hitting all the falls, so we made our way up to the last one only to encounter you and your horrible attitude. I still can’t believe you actually said “we left you at the last fall, there’s another pool up above for you” along with that stank look on your face. Instead of letting you ruin our day we jumped on in anyway! We never even spoke to you at the previous falls, you just left when you saw us coming because you wanted a falls all to yourself, and if that’s the case maybe you should get to work and buy yourself some property. I’m glad the real locals don’t act like you or Maui would be a disgusting place to live. Unfortunately this is what you’re teaching your keiki. I only pray they don’t grow up to be like you.
Illustration: Ron Pitts