Eh brah: I was enjoying a nice morning surf session at Lahaina breakwall when you paddled over and started yelling at me to move down toward 505 Front Street. You said that since I was on a stand up board I was going to hurt someone. When I didn’t obey you, you became verbally abusive and cursed me out. When I pointed out to you that you were also on a stand up board, you said, “I’ll surf wherever the f–k I want!” I had no idea you’re the only person who gets that privilege. Since when is a 64-year-old woman riding a 6’10” SUP board a threat to anyone? But you know what was worse than listening to your obscenities? It was that no one in the lineup said anything to you, including two surfers I not only knew, but thought were my friends.
Illustration: Ron Pitts