So my husband and I were out enjoying a beautiful evening while wandering from shop to shop, perusing art here and there. And then we came into your gallery. We asked you about a piece of art that was hanging there. You talked briefly about it. Then we asked you if the artist was a local. “None of our artists are local,” you said. “Our artists are credentialed.” What? I asked if you were serious, and then you started backpedaling. Look, you don’t belong on Maui. Please take your hippy hair and your pretentious bitch attitude and go work someplace else. We were in the market to buy, but after your attitude, we walked out. Do you realize what kind of commission you missed? But hey, no worries: we took our business to another gallery across the mall where they treated us—and Maui—with respect.
Illustration by Ron Pitts