Hey creepy guy with your too long, aged, “tales from the crypt” hair and your weird, long scraggly beard. You obviously enjoy looking like a homeless guy, so I guess you finally got your wish when your girlfriend kicked your pathetic, porn-addicted, freeloading, abusive ass to the curb. She told you to leave her alone, yet you still think it’s okay to hide in the bushes, spying through her windows, to say nothing of sending her harassing texts daily. It’s not only sick and disturbed, but it’s called stalking, and it’s illegal. You’ve been exposed for what you are and cannot hide your freak flag any longer. So save the cops the inconvenience of throwing your ghoulish ass in jail, and crawl back to whatever winter-wasteland you came from.
Illustration by Ron Pitts