Eh lady: I thought you pulled over to help me with my brokedown car. But when I let you know I had help on the way, you yelled “What are you talking about? I just stopped to buy avocados.” Here, I thought you were being kind, but in fact you were just completely self-involved. Thanks for making me feel stupid for having faith in humanity. I hope your 2015 is as crappy as the first day was for me.
Illustration by Ron Pitts