I take you in like my own son nine years ago cuz your parents didn’t want you no more. I get you your first job delivering for da flower shop, let you stay here fo’ free, give you da good room, let you lay on your ass all day long, you never get one job (oh, one, fo’ one day!), give you money, let you have your skank-ass homeless girlfriends spend da night, bail you out of jail, twice, you never pay no rent or nothin’ and you steal auntie’s hat, money from her purse, my aluminum cans, you broke everything of mine dat you touched, and now you jack my computer right out of my house while I’m sleeping! What, you don’t think I know it was you? No wonder your parents gave you up! Just bring back the computer and I won’t tell the police where you live.