Your idea for the perfect Valentine’s Day date with your loved one, or soon to be loved one, is:
a) Sunset dinner at Mama’s Fish House, a Maui Film Festival
screening at the Castle Theater, then a private helicopter ride to the
b) Rooftop dining at the Lahaina Store Grille & Oyster Bar, `Ulalena then drinks at Kimo’s.
c) Early dinner at the harbor with Okazuya plate-lunch and a six-pack of Heineken.
d) Two-for-one corndogs at Minit Stop and dollar-drink night.
You refer to your female lover’s nether regions as which of the following hiking trails:
b) Mermaid Falls
c) Sliding Sands
d) `Oheo Gulch
You refer to your male lover’s nether regions as which surfing spot:
a) Freight Train
b) River Mouth
You met your most recent loved one at:
a) The Four Seasons Lobby Lounge
b) Launiupoko or Kam III
c) Kimo’s, while having drinks on another date
d) The harbor, while having drinks on another date
You know you’re lovin’ Maui-style when:
a) Your idea for dressing up on a date is wearing shoes
b) Your “song” is “Banana Pancakes” by Jack Johnson
c) Sex on the Beach is not just a drink anymore
d) He/She fulfills all your “standards”: Hair. Teeth. Job. Car.
Points: It’s hard enough to keep the Maui romance alive and well, eh?—no need for a grading system, too! MTW