Gemini (May 21-June 20)
You’ve never let others’ labels truly limit who you can be and what you’re capable of. In fact, if someone tells you you’re too young, too (fe)male, too anything, you’ll usually go out of your way to prove them wrong. What’s astonishing, ironically, is the way you’ll let self-imposed definitions restrict you in ways you’d never otherwise allow. These labels (and their artificial limitations) are no more valid than the ones you rightfully reject when they come from others. But you believe in them nevertheless. Take a step outside yourself and realize they’re just as worthy of rejection and contradiction—then the next time you almost decide there’s something you can’t do, go out of your way to prove yourself wrong.
Cancer (June 21-July 22)
If you were to cut apart your clothing, and recombine it into new pieces incorporating several of the original items, you’d mostly end up with a messy patchwork jumble—but probably a couple really cool, original things that were far superior to what you started with. This week, your semi-random experimentation is likely to result in a whole lot of chaff, but a couple sparkling gems. That’s just how it is sometimes. Have faith that these rare treasures make all the “wasted” time and resources worthwhile. Sometimes “squandering” your energy and stuff is the only way to get to that good shit—this week, my dear, is one of those times.
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)
Biting off more than you can chew has often been your modus operandi. Usually, you’re able to rise to the challenge and become a better, stronger, and more capable person. However, you frequently rely on others to help you out before you’re fully capable of carrying solo the burden you’ve taken on. Make sure you notice and appreciate these people. They want only the best for you, and are rooting for you to keep growing and learning—but they’ll grow resentful if you don’t recognize and show appreciation for the role they’ve assumed in that process. This week, make sure you do exactly that.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
What, ultimately, are you complaining about? What happened to not sweating the small stuff? I suspect the only reason this shit is bugging you to this degree is because you’re not keeping yourself busy enough, so your hyperactive brain is generating drama to keep you busy. Virgos require a ton of activity, and while it’s good to have some relaxation and downtime (many Virgos fail to give themselves enough), having too much leads to problems that aren’t really problems. Get busy. If you don’t have more important things to worry about than this “problem,” you probably should.
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)
Your next best step may very well be changing from minute to minute in this dynamic situation. Don’t get too committed to one particular course of action. Because things are shifting very quickly right now, you need to be flexible, open-minded, and perceptive. Be light on your feet and ready to skip left, jump up, or turn around any second, depending on what’s thrown at you. And don’t be married to dodging those bullets. You could catch, deflect, or transform them before they hit you, instead. Be creative. This is a test of your emotional elasticity and reflexes, one you’re ready for. The only way you could fail is by being excessively lazy or stubborn—so, you know, don’t be.
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
Whatever you’re pursuing, whether a job, a lay, or a new opportunity, you have two main strategies you could be trying: cast a wide net, or use a focused approach. Asking out everyone at the bar may yield you a date—surely someone would take you up on it, right? Alternatively, if you’re good at picking your target and really giving it your all, you might achieve similar results. So let’s assume that either approach will yield equivalent outcomes. How do you decide what’s best? Easy. Ask yourself this question: “Which one best reflects who I am (or who I want to be)?”
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
While paying the prices you’re stuck with now, try to remember all the virtual bargains you got along the way. This isn’t some “forget the recessed economy” bullshit—I’m talking about karma here. You’ve had it pretty good until recently—the shit you have to deal with of late isn’t such a big deal in the context of all the lucky breaks you had leading up to it. These consequences may not be a direct result of your past (shit just happens, after all); but if you weigh them against it, you’re still coming out ahead. So quit your bitching, suck it up, and cope, with grace and gratitude.
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
Own your desires. Recognize when they’re absurd or unusual, but don’t be embarrassed by them. That’ll just bite you in the ass. Let’s say for example you had a fetish you wanted to suggest to your partner; if you present it in a playful tone of silly fun, you two might go there; shared like a shameful confession makes it much less likely. Whoever you are and whatever you want is just fine, as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone. There’s really no reason to be embarrassed about it. Name and claim your needs and wants—then go get them taken care of.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
The challenge before you doesn’t require strength, intelligence, social skills, musical aptitude, mathematical genius, or a graduate degree. All you need to succeed here is concentration, persistence, and willpower. Unfortunately, even though you have smarts and talent in spades, you’re sometimes lacking in the kind of mental focus and stubbornness this task requires of you—you’re all too easily distracted. Of course, this situation is precisely what you’ve been (unconsciously) asking for—a real challenge outside of your comfort zone. Even if it’s not really what you expected (by definition it could hardly be that), I full expect you to rise to the challenge anyway.
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)
Your kindhearted nature sometimes causes more pain than your most malicious impulses (which, admittedly, are rarely that cruel). Your undoubtedly good intentions, when not properly married to reality, can inspire tremendous disappointment and misery. Be careful about that this week. What you wish was the case isn’t necessarily so, and pretending otherwise could cause needless heartache. Be brutally realistic with yourself, and honest about the situation with the others involved. It may feel harsh and unpleasant to do so, but ultimately it’s much kinder than leading others (and yourself) on, only to disappoint them after you’ve inflated their hopes further.
Aries (March 21-April 19)
Notoriously Rams overload themselves. You’ll not only burn your candle at both ends, but you’ll snap it in half and burn those newly created ends, too. Naturally, you know that’s not sustainable. If you decide to go there, make sure you have a beginning, middle, and end to your plan of action. A light at the end of the tunnel will go a long way towards helping you actually get there—if it seems to go on forever, however, no one would blame you for just giving up. This week, create the possibility for an end to this particular chapter—one that will give you the strength of will to actually get there.
Taurus (April 20-May 20)
Aim for your frustration. Where there’s intense emotion, there’s something interesting and powerful. Instead of fleeing from what’s been getting your goat, head towards it instead. Figure out why it’s bothering you and what you can do to make the situation better for all concerned (other than walking away). Tap into that angst, and redirect it. If you can successfully transform this maddening scene into one that brings joy (or at least serenity), just think what you can do for other challenging areas of your life. This is a big step in your self-evolution and your perception of life’s “problems.” Don’t try to avoid or escape it. Nail it, instead.
Gemini (May 21-June 20)