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You are here: Home / Culture / horoscope / Sign Language: Taurans need to ditch their crush on Kevin James

Sign Language: Taurans need to ditch their crush on Kevin James

March 22, 2018 by Caeriel Crestin Leave a Comment

Aries (March 21-April 19)

Like you, I’m loaded with creative ideas. Also like you, I occasionally lack discipline, though I’m getting way better at it. Are you? I’m fond of the way your mind works. You’re often able to cut through bullshit and achieve brilliant insights invisible to everyone else. What I don’t like about your mind is how you can forget your genius idea as soon as your next flash of inspiration strikes you, and leave it behind forever. Then you do the same thing with this new idea when the next one comes along, forever leaving behind a bread-crumb trail of outstanding, undeveloped ideas. That’s why many otherwise gifted Rams never amount to anything. Keep those original concepts flowing–but don’t let yourself get carried away with each one. Pick one and finish it  before you move on to the next.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

If you strip the glossy veneer of fame from a celebrity crush, you’ll notice they’re not necessarily much better-looking than some of the folks in your local coffee shop. Renown adds sex appeal points, no question. But let’s not be blinded by it. Isn’t it possible that you’re allowing the alluring sparkle of someone’s reputation (real or imagined) to affect your perception of them? Peel some of that back, won’t you? Who is this person, really? Do your best to honestly assess them, free of outside influence, so you can have the kind of relationship with them you deserve: one of equals.

Gemini (May 21-June 20)

When I lived Germany some years back, and I often laughed every time I saw someone sporting that embarrassing (and astonishingly frequently-practiced) socks-and-sandals fashion faux pas. However, although I found it hysterical (especially when I saw them kick off their sandals to play beach volleyball in their socks), I wouldn’t keep it from letting me get to know someone. It is, after all, a cultural difference, and a superficial one at that. Aren’t you getting hung up on something similarly trivial, which is keeping you from connecting with someone who might otherwise be a very good friend to you? The stars say yes. I say get over it.

Cancer (June 21-July 22)

Acceptance is this week’s keyword. Even your most trusted friends agree that you’ve done all you can regarding a certain troubling situation. You’ve spoken your piece, apologized and/or made restitution when necessary, and been there in times of trouble. You’ve even made personal changes. Yet the situation persists unaltered. It’s quite simply out of your hands. I think even you, in all your stubbornness, are tired of banging your head against this particular wall. It might feel like failure to throw up your hands and walk away, but it’s not, this time. Walk away. The only way anything will change is if whoever we’re talking about decides to walk after you–and that too, my darling, is not up to you.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)

Leos don’t respond well to lack of freedom. You need choices. The irony is that the person who most often restricts you is you. Even quite tyrannical bosses will give their employees more flexibility than you sometimes allow yourself. I know Leos who respond to their own high expectations by flouting them entirely; instead of working they wallow in laziness. Give yourself some options, won’t you? Even if they’re options you don’t like, you’ll thank yourself for it. (Today, for instance, I told myself: “Go write, or stay home and give the dog a bath.”) You’ll also get a hell of a lot more done, one way or another.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

At first, new technology is often resisted (even occasionally protested), then eventually embraced until it’s so incorporated into our daily existences that it’s hard to imagine life without it. The computer, television, cellphone, email and even social networking websites have all gone through transitional periods like this. Ideas do, too, though it’s more subtle and harder to track. (Just look at how attitudes towards marriage and sex have mutated over the last half century for an example.) Your newest ideas (though on a much smaller scale) have to endure this gauntlet of resistance and eventual acceptance as well, so don’t be discouraged. Just be positive, patient, and stick to your guns.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

Being your own taskmaster only goes so far. You can sternly tell yourself, “The deadline for this project is March 31st,” but it simply won’t carry as much weight as your boss warning you: “Get this done by the end of the month, or you’re fired.” That will push you beyond a comfortable level of effort, which is what’s required if you hope to even come close to meeting your own high expectations. You wouldn’t get shit done because you’re actually scared of your boss (hopefully). You’d finish your work because you wanted to keep your job. You don’t need a boss. You need consequences, which are great motivators. Give yourself some.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

You’re not used to being overlooked. It just goes to show that even after you think you’ve experienced it all, there are new experiences to be had, even if they’re not all pleasant. Being forgotten or going unnoticed are never going to stand out as experiences you want to relive again and again, but they are ones you can learn from, and learn to live with. Someday, you’ll be glad you learned to cope with not getting the kind of attention you thrive on, and you’ll also appreciate that attention more, when you do get it.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

I planted my balcony garden yesterday. Last year I focused entirely on my favorite bloom, and for one glorious month my balcony played host to dozens of gorgeous bobbing sunflowers–but was fairly barren the rest of the time, since I’d planted nothing else. This year, I decided to plant a “surprise” garden instead, sowing dozens of different kinds of seeds everywhere. You’ve also tried carefully cultivating a single crop (with both disastrous and brilliant results). However, you’d be better off trying my method this season. Plant many different things, and see what comes up. Have faith, and anticipation. Something great will sprout, something you could never have produced through planning.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

What you’re doing now is like holding your breath and diving underwater, as deep as you can. I get your caution: You’ve not only got to watch for sharks and sea snakes, but also monitor your oxygen supply, and make sure you turn back before you’re halfway out of breath. However, you’re playing it awfully safe, aren’t you? You haven’t even been panting when you’ve come up for air. I don’t want you to drown in your own ambitions, but even you could throw caution to the winds a little, right now, couldn’t you? Go on, dive a little deeper. You can.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

What are you taking for granted? There are at least three things that you’re very lucky to have in your life–that most people lack, utterly–and you’re not appreciating them in the slightest. Well, watch out, baby, because this week’s catchphrase is “love it or lose it.” If you don’t give the best things in your life a little TLC, and soon, they’re not likely to stick around much longer. Go on, get to it. You’re boring when you’re lonely and miserable, so it’s in everyone’s best interest that you make sure everyone you love (and therefore also yourself) feels as happy and appreciated as possible.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)

Pisces have a flexible relationship to the truth. It’s not that you lack morals; you’re simply quite amorphous beings. You also recognize that we all play different versions of ourselves in different contexts; our online personas differ from the ones we present to our friends and those we bring to work, for example. That yours contradict and often stand in direct opposition to one another is what some people can’t wrap their heads around. How can you go to environmental rallies on the weekends, and then put on a suit and work for Big Oil Monday morning? That’s an extreme example, but you embrace dichotomies like that all the time. This week, your job is to help the rest of us accept those contradictions with the same ease you do.

To contact Caeriel send mail to [email protected]

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Filed Under: horoscope Tagged With: Astrology, celebrity, crush, Horoscope, Kevin James, Mauitime Columns, sex appeal

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