Aries (March 21-April 19)
When you accidentally bite the inside of your cheek, it’s usually not so bad at first. But then you end up chomping that same spot a few more times that day, each time making things worse. That’s similar to what you’re doing with an emotional problem here: aggravating it (probably accidentally) and making it far worse than it was at first, because you can’t quite leave it alone. If we were talking about an inner-cheek-injury, you could give it a chance to escape your teeth by stuffing a bit of gauze in there. This problem, while less concrete, can be dealt with nearly as easily. What does gauze do? It keeps you away from the injury. Find something that will work like that here, and just like your self-inflicted mouth wound, the problem will remedy itself.
Taurus (April 20-May 20)
You’re not the attention-grabber that Aries is, or as needy as an unevolved Cancer, but you still get frustrated when things are never about you, even when they by all rights ought to be (on your birthday, for example). It’d be nice if people stepped up on their own and gave you the love and admiration you deserve, but that’s quite unlikely–not because they don’t appreciate you, but because it’s easy to forget to show it. By all means, give your friends and family a chance to give you a day (hell, a couple hours) that’s all about you, but don’t hate them if it slips their minds. Instead, graciously ask for (and possibly even arrange) one for yourself.
Gemini (May 21-June 20)
After a week away, I’m aglow with the simple pleasures of home: my own bed, a decent cup of coffee, familiar foods, etc. Because you haven’t exactly been similarly appreciative of your life’s simple pleasures, the astrological forces that be are probably going to (temporarily) take them away from you soon. It’s for your own good, so that you’ll be especially grateful for them when you get them back. Luckily, you haven’t been deprived yet. Since you don’t know how long you’ll have to do without all that good stuff, why not take a moment to properly appreciate it now?
Cancer (June 21-July 22)
Graffiti, as an art form, can be brilliant. Too often, though, it’s barely more evolved than dogs pissing on fire hydrants–something only other dogs (or, in this case, graffitists) can appreciate. I wish graffiti artists more often conspired to simply make things more beautiful, interesting and/or thought-provoking for everyone, instead of simply scrawling their personal scribble everywhere. There’s nothing wrong with what you’re up to; it’s just rather limited. What you’re doing now is scrawling a tag only another graffitist could decipher and interpret. However, what you could be doing is making something that would accomplish that, and more: it would make everyone get your message, not just the person it was meant for.
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)
Pride can be your downfall, Leo. You know this. Although you should be proud of all you accomplished, you’re pushing it a little too hard. Think of how much cooler it is when someone subtly downplays all they’ve done, and later you find out on your own exactly how amazing they are. It’s a million times more impressive than when they just come right out and tell you. Have a little faith in your would-be admirers. They don’t need to be told why you’re great. This week at least, let them figure that out (or not) on their own.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
“You’re late!” If I had a dollar for every time you’re likely to have someone bark that at you this week, I’d be able to take us all out to a very fancy dinner. Don’t sweat your chronic tardiness, though. Perversely, it’s actually a good thing. It means everything you’re up to is going so well, and so enjoyably, that you’re likely to have trouble tearing yourself away to get to the next thing on your agenda. So you’ll probably barely notice when people get annoyed or scold you; you’ll simply be having too much fun.
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)
My dog’s bored when I take him to work. Yet he’s eager to come with me nevertheless, probably for the lovely walk there and back. Although you’re stuck in a situation that’s lame, there can still be plenty to feel good about; focus on that, and you’ll sail through with nary a psychological scratch nor bruise. For my dog, the tedium of sitting around waiting for me to finish writing is instantly forgotten during the thrilling, scent-filled walk home. You can wreak similar blessed forgetfulness on yourself, too, by focusing on the positives, no matter how tangential. This week, try that.
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
Why do people adopt annoying, yappy little dogs? Are they deaf? Sadistic? Masochistic? I guess some people just have a phenomenal capacity for making bad choices, that will make themselves and everyone nearby the unhappy. Luckily, you have the chance this week to prevent one of your friends from making just such a choice. Don’t shirk your duty. Tell them to put their credit card away. Don’t let them walk out of the pet shop with a freaky, mean-tempered little Pomeranian. Do it for them, do it for yourself. Do it for all of us.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
Let’s imagine you as half of a pair (twins, say, or a couple). You’d probably rather die than don a matching set of clothing (except, perhaps, as a trick or joke). You Archers take great pains to retain and maintain your individuality, and your ability to codependently blend into any relationship is virtually nil. Unfortunately, some people might take it personally when you don’t want to conform to whatever they have planned for you. This could be a disaster, but it doesn’t have to be. To prevent any potential emotional meltdowns, all you need do is one thing: compromise. This does not mean wearing that hideous matching jogging suit they bought for you, but would it really kill you to make some concession? Matching underwear perhaps? Socks? A ring?
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
Here’s the scenario: You’re trapped on an island for months, fearful of the strong currents and predatory beasts all around. Then, overnight, the temperature drops and that dangerous ocean becomes solid ice. It might not seem right or fair that one of your biggest problems is solved so simply and swiftly, when all your various schemes have failed, disastrously. Life’s screwed up that way. At least this time it worked in your favor. Let it go; quit your bitching, say goodbye to your little exile, and run to freedom before the ice melts or you freeze to death.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
In some ways, you’re even more pragmatic than those Virgos or Capricorns. “What’s the point of flowers?” one Water Bearing friend is fond of pointing out. “They just die.” Sometimes, though, it’s better to be impractical, at least to some degree, in order to make someone else happy. It doesn’t have to make sense to you, or even be the least bit reasonable. This time, it’s about whoever you love, and showing them just how much you care. If that means indulging an illusion or simply creating a beautiful ephemeral moment, I’d consider doing it this week, if I were you.
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)
Life is in the details, and you Pisces always pay either too much or too little attention to those. Sometimes you focus on the tiniest things, at the expense of the big picture, while other times you simply miss everything that’s not big, dramatic, and attention-grabbing. Successful Pisces are usually ones who manage to find the balance between these two limited states of being. Unfortunately, most of you are still stuck in one mode or the other, most of the time. However, this week will present a good chance for you to invent a new way to look at the world, one that lets you look at the big picture while getting at least some of the details right. All you have to do is be flexible enough to grab it.
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