Officer Keith Taguma
OK, we admit it. We created this category especially for Taguma, and you readers obliged by overwhelmingly voting him in (see the runner up for evidence of just how big a landslide it was). If you don’t know Taguma you’ve never driven (or, more to the point, parked) in Wailuku. He’s the half-man, half-cyborg meter maid from hell, seemingly able to be in multiple places at once, constantly nailing people (including, it should be said, pretty much everyone in the MauiTime office) for safety stickers that expired yesterday or for staying 2 hours, 1 minute in a 2-hour space. Yes, technically he’s just doing his job. But he does it with such fervor and steely eyed glee it’s hard to feel anything other than contempt for the man. And we haven’t even mentioned the checkered past that led him to his current, unglamorous position (Google “State v. Estrada” if you’re curious). Now, if you’ll excuse us, we need to move our car. @jacobshafer
Runner-Up: We Have Meter Maids Here?