BEST COMMUNITY ACTIVIST
Nikhilananda
We had lots of good choices here. Lucienne de Naie of Maui Tomorrow, Dean Wong of the Maui AIDS Foundation and Lahaina Town Action Committee executive director Theo Morrison all earned multiple votes. But the clear winner was Nikhilananda of Huelo. He’s a longtime Green Party activist, organizer and, on the side, works as a substitute teacher. He often speaks at public hearings dealing with water usage and land development. He’s also run for office steadily over the last decade, never winning, but always standing for the left-wing, environmental crowd. And he writes lots of letters to The Maui News—so many that he’s written letters criticizing the way they edit other letters he’s written. Anyway, he’s a stand-up guy. [AP]
BEST LOCALELECTED OFFICIAL
Jo Anne Johnson
She’s sat on the Maui County Council representing West Maui since 2000. In her first term, this Republican called for moratorium on development, an end to fluoridation of water and a ban on exhibiting dolphins. The first two remain, but in 2003 Johnson succeeded in getting the Maui County Council to ban the capture and containment of dolphins. She is unabashedly slow-growth, having voted against Smith Development’s “fast-tracked” Pu’unoa Village, which promised to bring far more traffic to West Maui than affordable housing. She’s voted against Seibu’s plans to develop Makena into a Wailea-sized resort. And she’s even denounced people who don’t farm but live in the agricultural lands of Laniupoko. Let’s see, have I missed anything… oh, and she opposes building a breakwater at Ma’alaea to allow harbor expansion. Yeah, that pretty much qualifies her as best local official. [AP]
BEST PLACE TO WATCH THE SUNSET
Makena
Swim out as far as you can from the shores of Makena towards that setting sun before you. Catch your breath and then dive down until you find yourself floating peacefully in 30 feet of deep blue, fully enveloped in the whale songs that fill these waters. Gazing up from the depths, you’ll be able to see that sun refracting through one point in the water. Push off the bottom and swim as fast to the surface as possible, all dolphin-like. When you hit the critical point of exploding through the water as the sun is wading in, notice the million bursting droplets of silent light that cascade around you and give thanks for this blessed place—while it still lasts. [KBL]
BEST PLACE TO WATCH THE SUNRISE
Hana
The night before Thanksgiving, I camped at Kipahulu with a friend and the sunset marvelously illuminated the Big Island. I didn’t think I could get a better view than that, but that morning I awoke up to a magnificent sunrise. The sun inched its way out of the ocean, painting the sky orange, red, and purple. The clouds on the horizon took fire, showing off their divine design. The sun took its place in the morning sky and I swam in the pools, giving thanks on my best Thanksgiving Day ever. [JG]
BEST POLICE OFFICER
“Stuart”
What a nice guy—so warm and authoritative, so kind and protective, so… well, police officerly. Everybody in Lahaina knows, and apparently loves, Officer Stu! He’s an active member of the community, has been on the force for years and likes to change his hair color every so often just to keep us on our toes. Comfortingly, there were actually quite a few recurring officers’ names on your ballots: Paul from Upcountry, Officers Josh and Lester from Kihei, a couple votes for the Chief, and the ever popular “the one that leaves me alone.” We salute you, Maui’s Men in Blue! [SC]
BEST REASON TO WATCH AKAKU PUBLIC ACCESS TV
The Hemowai Brothers
Public Access television was made for shows like this. Filmed on Molokai, the show is basically two local guys who drive around and tell Haole where to get off, often in the crudest possible way. Periodically through the episodes, the guys will show various sayings like “Aloha Means Goodbye” and “No Move to Hawaii!” over beautiful shots of the sunset. But these guys are sharp. They spend as much time making a case for just land reparations as they do cursing Haole and flipping off the camera. “We’re trying to be the best haole we can be,” one brother observes of the Hawaiian people. “That trips me out. We gotta change that.” Of course, sometimes they get off topic—you’re not going to find this exchange on your network or cable channels:
Brother who looks like Fred Durst: “The Lakers represent America. Only in America can you have [an alleged] rapist as your leading scorer.”
Brother who doesn’t: “You were just telling me earlier that Kobe [Bryant] was set up!”
But the best thing is that you can watch these two knuckleheads just about anytime you want. Just go to www.akaku.org, search through programming for any of the three Hemowai episodes, then schedule it to air on Channel 54 at the most convenient time for you. [AP]
BEST EASY HIKE
Iao Valley
Iao Valley is one of my favorite places on Maui, and it is conveniently located just at the edge of town. It’s a really easy walk along the tourist circuit, keeping to the paved trail that winds down to the taro patches by the stream and up to the little house at the viewpoint. Most tourists seem content keeping to this path, watching locals jump off the bridge, taking pictures of the Needle and educating themselves about Hawaiian history by the informative signs. But the best part is cruising through the jungle, smelling ginger blooms, eating guava and climbing trees. And a dip in the cold stream is the ideal place to recharge your batteries. [JG]
BEST THING ALICIA SILVERSTONE SAID WHEN SHE SPOKE IN PAIA IN APRIL ABOUT THE IMPORTANCE OF A VEGETARIAN DIET
“If you wanted to give up just one thing, give up dairy. I truly believe everyone is lactose intolerant. Think about the utter insanity of it—no other species on Earth eats another species’ milk. Cows don’t even eat cow milk—calves eat cow milk. I mean, we don’t eat human’s milk. If I said ‘here’s a glass of my breast milk,’ I don’t think that many people would be interested… Well, unless it was for a kinky thing or something.” [AP]
BEST STATE LEGISLATOR
Sol Kaho’ohalahala
The first time I met Representative Kaho’ohalahala (D, 13th District) was at an October, 2003 lecture on the problems posed by cruise ships. On the mainland, such a meeting wouldn’t have attracted a city council aide. But he—and a couple other county and state officials—came by. After the lecture, someone in the audience asked “Sol” what he thought of the talk. “Do we want to accept all of the consequences of tourism?” he asked before highlighting the environmental trouble cruise ships bring. “People don’t link these issues to tourism… We need to.” He represents Molokai, Lanai, Kaho’olawe, Molokini, Haiku, Pauwela, Ulumalu, Huelo, Keanae, Wailua, Nahiku, Hana, Hokuula, Hamoa, Puuiki, Haou, Muolea, Kipahulu and Kaupo. Residents in those places are quite fortunate. [AP]
BEST HIKE THAT WILL WORK YOU
Haleakala
Yeah, it’s a beautiful hike all right. And anything that’s worth having is worth working for, right? Unfortunately for my relationship at the time, the 11-mile, two-day hike through 10,000-foot Haleakala Crater was just about the beginning of the end. Maybe it was the three miles of slippery downhill sand carrying a 20-pound pack of snacks and liquor. Or the staggering for hours across a never-ending moonscape-like expanse with abysmal pits and caves, extreme temperature fluctuations and an occasional odd nene or two. Maybe it was the two-mile vertical on a muddy, winding, steep hill in the rain with a 10-pound pack on the way back. More likely, it was my inability to stop yelling “Fire!” in the middle of night while we were sleeping, but whatever. Seriously, the hike through Halekala Crater is challenging but, for most normal folk, spectacular and quite worth the trip—you won’t see or experience anything like it! Haleakala National Park, 572-4400. [SC]
BEST LIQUOR COMMISSION OFFICIAL
Ron McOmber
Disagree with his outspoken, ornery attitude towards liquor licensees if you must—even his colleagues don’t really get along with him—but you’ve got to admit Maui County Liquor Control Adjudication Board member McOmber is fun to watch. Though I imagine it would be tough having to sit in the defendant’s chair and see him slowly shaking his head in that condescending way parents lecture their kids while the prosecuting attorney reads the charges and talks about what a “menace” your bar is to the community. His term expires next April, so make sure you attend a hearing soon. [AP]
BEST WATERFALL
Seven Sacred Pools
Seven Sacred Pools? Who filled this out? Tourists? Come on, Maui, you know better. Why pay for parking only to share a few overcrowded pools when there are a hundred waterfalls on the way there that are better and free? Did the port-o-toilets factor into this? Have you been in them? They’re nasty. Wouldn’t you rather go to a waterfall where you could maybe enjoy a little peace and solitude, possibly get naked and play? Maui’s true “best waterfall” will today remain nameless to protect its serenity and love-making potential. But for those of you afraid to “drop anchor” in your own private bush, there’s a johnny-on-the-spot waiting for you at Mile Marker 42. [TF]
BEST PROPOSED DEVELOPMENT
Paia Skate Park
There was no clear-cut winner for this entry, but it doesn’t take an urban planning genius to realize that the Paia Skate Park is one of the best public projects out there. It’s in the right place and it looks really cool. The Paia Bay Café next door—run by kids from the Paia Youth Cultural Center—is also a great place to get sandwiches and salads. Director Blaze Anderson has done a hell of a job getting the thing built. And now that it’s finally opened, it’s better than ever. 28 Hana Hwy., Paia, 579-8354. [AP]
BEST ARTICULATION OF THE MAUI WEEKLY PHILOSOPHY
“Our male readers tend to be more visually oriented. Where women like to read about relationships, fashion and astrology, men focus more on sports, sex and more sex. (Hey, I know I’m going to get letters on this on this one, but it’s true.) So the Page 3 pictures [of attractive bikini girls] are really to satisfy the male-oriented half of our audience. At least it gets them to pick up a copy and open it—something that they might not normally do.”—from a July 15, 2004 Maui Weekly editorial by Publisher/Editor in Chief Joseph Sugarman. [AP]
BEST URBAN PLACE TO HANG WITH FERAL CHICKENS
Honoli’i Park
This little Wailuku park sits across the street from the state and county administration buildings. It’s rather small, with a few trees and not-really-comfortable stone benches. But it’s also home to at least half a dozen wild chickens, some of which are colorful enough to bring home a ribbon from the Fair. They look a little small to wear steel claws in the pit of death, but they are pretty friendly. One time they came within a few feet of me, and I was eating chicken at the time. Located at the corner of Main and High streets in Wailuku. [AP]
BEST PROPOSED DEVELOPMENT THAT YOU SHOULD FEAR
Makena Resort
This one was easy, even for you people. What’s not to fear about putting a massive resort with a bunch of homes and big-ass golf course just across the street from Makena Beach? I mean, sure it’s all serene and wooded in there now, but hey—Maui’s developing! People don’t want remote beaches, they want swimming pool bars, waterslides, activities kiosks and guys walking around in polo shirts asking if you’d like another Mai Tai. Now that’s Maui, and soon, it will be Makena, too. That is, if the Maui County Council bows to the mighty Seibu Railway Corporation of Tokyo, which owns the land across the beach. Surprisingly, Maui Weekly—half of which is owned by Everett Dowling, who’s made no secret of his intentions to get into the Makena development action—hasn’t written any pro-resort articles and editorials in a while. Don’t let that lull you into complacency! [AP]
BEST NEWSPAPER
Maui Time
Awww, you shouldn’t have. Oh wait, you didn’t—this is an Editor’s Pick. Anyway, I’d just like to take the time to thank the little people who made this all possible: Tommy, Jen, me. Okay, mostly me. Oh, thank me. It was my pleasure. [AP]
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