Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) You dream you meet your soulmate, who turns out to be a duck. As they cock their head to allow first one beady eye, then the other, to gaze longingly into your dewy pair, you listen to their tales of the Fowl Revolution. The moment you fervently swear allegiance to their cause you awaken, but the memory of their beaky kiss still lingers. Ducky’s … [Read more...] about Sign Language: Just because it isn’t a sentient robot doesn’t mean it isn’t worth your time, Pisces
Sign Language: Don’t be a sore winner, Libra
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) Change is always alarming, and I’m sure it’d be a little freaky to wake up and find your house being lifted off its foundations and loaded onto a truck by construction workers and machines. However, before you freak out or try to put a stop to the whole project, consider the alternatives. With a bit of effort, it will be possible to transplant your … [Read more...] about Sign Language: Don’t be a sore winner, Libra
Sign Language: Time for a purge, Virgo
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) It’s not healthy for Leos to practice any serious self-deprivation; it runs contrary to your nature. You know that life is short and that treating yourself is essential to self-care and your daily well-being. However, it’s perfectly okay – and in fact, a good exercise to strengthen your willpower, resolve, and character – to go without some things while … [Read more...] about Sign Language: Time for a purge, Virgo
Sign Language: Come out of the shadows, Pisces
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) Ask a Taurus to kick it into high gear and you’ll notice a slight increase in speed. Leos, however, have the ability, shared by all three fire signs, to really turn up the volume and get shit done. You may not be able to achieve the supernova hotness of an Aries or sustain the steady long-term burn of a Sagittarian, but you can, nevertheless, do more and … [Read more...] about Sign Language: Come out of the shadows, Pisces
Sign Language: Own your weirdness, Sagittarius!
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) Worse than cheating in general is trying to cheat, still losing, and then getting caught (and subsequently humiliated). That, my friend, is the lame scenario you’re eligible for this week, should you stray from the rules you agreed to. Is that really how you want to spend your birthday season? It’s not only a terrible idea in general – it’s doubly bad … [Read more...] about Sign Language: Own your weirdness, Sagittarius!