You’ve been crashing on our back patio swing for a couple months. You sleep late and then lurk at our house, morning and night. You should get up, look for housing and let us enjoy our backyard. If you truly appreciate having a safe place to sleep at night, give us a break and make yourself scarce during the day. Illustration by Ron Pitts … [Read more...] about Eh Backyard Camper
Eh Slipper Litterer
Eh Brah! I wasn’t the only one who saw you walking out of Long’s Drugstore in Kahului with a smile on your face and shiny new slippahs in your hand. We saw you take your feet out of the old ones, put on the new ones, and then walk away, leaving the price tag, as well as the discarded, worn-out slippahs on the pavement. I don’t get it. Do you think that because you were “Born … [Read more...] about Eh Slipper Litterer
Eh Newbie Spear Fisherman
To the newbie spear-fisherman at the Westside beach: Wow, you had a big new shiny gun but the fish that was dangling from it was quite manini! A snapper you say? Review your fishing regs, friend–even though you went “way out,” that was no snapper you caught. It was what we call a “kumu” and is not a snapper of any kind. The whiskers might have clued you in if you’d checked the … [Read more...] about Eh Newbie Spear Fisherman
2013 MauiTime Charity Gift Guide
We live in tough times for nonprofit organizations. Government spending is drying up, and that means they’re increasingly being forced to take up the slack. Otherwise, the neediest individuals in society will be left on their own. Year in and year out, we’ve watched these charitable organizations attempt to do more with less funds. Even here on Maui, the sight of Santa Claus … [Read more...] about 2013 MauiTime Charity Gift Guide
Eh Thieving Squatters
How you and your slimy band of thieves managed to move yourselves in without the usual background/credit checks–and before the first of your checks failed to clear–is a complete mystery to me. But hey, no matter… “It is what it is.” I’m supposed to accept that as an answer, and so I shall. But I cannot accept the notion that human parasites, such as yourselves, have any … [Read more...] about Eh Thieving Squatters