Culinary Crappola: An Equal and Opposite Reaction to the Rest of This Fine Blog

Our fearless @MauiTime leader, @JenRusso — who (wo)mans this blog — is a classy foodie writer. However, I am a trashy foodie writer. Though this can hardly be called writing (more like copying and pasting), inspired by positive response to a couple recent Facebook posts, I hereby share with you some culinary crappola:

Last night, after the Sublime with Rome show, I was carded for buying a green tea. When asked, I reflexively offered up my ID without questioning it until I left Minit Stop. Wait? If this ends up being some sort of Four Loko shit, I’m gonna be pissed… It wasn’t, thankfully. It was actually pretty good tea.

CLICK HERE for a neat blog I found from, about said tea (and more!).

Speaking of Four Loko, I first heard about it via The Colbert Report‘s “Thought for Food.”* As is the case with any and all Colbert content, the clip speaks for itself:

The Colbert Report Mon – Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Thought for Food – C-Zurrrre, Medal of Hunger Winner & Cheesercize
Colbert Report Full Episodes 2010 Election March to Keep Fear Alive

* My Nana is so funny. We were watching The Colbert Report, and when “Though for Food” came on she laughed and said, “Oh, they made a mistake. It’s supposed to be “Food for Thought.”” #awesome

Recuperating from a recent binge, I spent my hangover ambling through useless-but-LOL shit on the Internets and came across this beauty (CLICK HERE to see the whole post on BuzzFeed):

Of said binge, I made this post, eliciting interesting response:

Dreamed Morgan Freeman kidnapped my coworkers and kept poking me with a PVC pipe. Woke up to churchgoers slamming car doors in the parking lot/home for the night; my wristbanded arm clutching an empty bag of Jack in the Box. Eyeliner streaming. Busted heels. Hurray for psychobilly. Hurray for late nights.

Rick Lewis Ok… tell us what you took. I think we may want some too!

Anu Yagi Those 2 for 99cent tacos can get you fucked up, Rick. Not recommended.

Curt Bocanegra This dream sounds like it has some metaphoric undertones.

Anu Yagi Unfortunately, no metaphoric undertones. Just an undercurrent of gin and tonic combo’d with passing out in the office. Though, not sure why Morgan Freeman decided to play the antagonist… Oh, Morgan Freeman. Is there anything he can’t do?

Curt Bocanegra I stated the metaphors my dirty mind came up with in the first conception of this comment. Could Morgan Freeman survive a week as a MauiTime writer?

Anu Yagi Yeah, I couldn’t find a way to mitigate the dirty-soundingness of expressing a dream where Morgan Freeman pokes me with a PVC pipe. Really, it was more like a malicious makeshift cattle prod in my back. But see, that sounds worse.

On that note — and, being a fast food connoisseur — would like to share the following chart, further compliments of the Internets at large: