I recently received a press release from Classmates.com claiming that 90 percent of members polled not only thought regularly of an old flame, but also would like to be contacted by them. Granted, this survey was conducted on a site where people log on to reconnect. But still, nine out of 10 people is a lot.
And here I was thinking that I was an anomaly.
It’s not that I’m secretly pining away for the “one that got away” or even wish that I was back in high school and could re-date the boys I kissed behind the weight room. I loathed high school.
I wouldn’t redo prom for a dump truck full of money, even though my date was (and still is) quite hot. And senior prom? Not only did I go with a boy that ended up completely breaking my heart, my best friend ended up messing around with the guy that I had been in love with since he first pulled my curls while sitting behind me in history class.
But still, I wonder how everyone is doing.
Living on Maui, sometimes I run into childhood boyfriends. Most of the time, it’s pleasant. We’ve grown-up, so to speak, and are able to put our adolescent squabbles behind us. How are the kids? What have you been up to?
Then there are others who I rarely run into, even though I know they’re still on Maui. These are the ones that get to me. Not that it’s any of my damn business, but I wonder how they’re doing, if they need a hug or maybe just a swift kick to the ass. I wonder if they’re finally happy and at peace with the life they created. It’s the ones that I don’t run into often that I dream about sometimes. Mostly they’re just there, haunting me in the background.
While in college, I ran around with this guy named Isaac for a while. “Dated” is too strong a word. Mostly we drank a lot and “studied” together. I wonder about him all the time. The last time I saw him, he was in bed and I was saying goodbye because I was heading back to Maui.
“Goodbye my beautiful woman,” he said.
“Goodbye my beautiful man,” I said, in Italian. I can’t remember the words now, but that was one of the things he taught me, besides how to shoot 151. I never saw him again and doubt I ever will. The last I heard, he had gone to prison and when he came out became a flair bartender. Who would’ve guessed?
I do keep in touch with one old flame –originally from Texas, now living in Taiwan. It’s been over a decade since we first got together, but only a few years since we last hooked up. This is also the guy that I sent in for an HIV test after the first time that we slept together (he came up clean). I can’t believe we’ve remained friends after all of the stupid crap I’ve put him through.
And then there’s the relationship that I won’t talk about because it was at once beautiful, messy, hurtful and deep. And that one affects me every day.
Now that I’m happily married, I wonder if it’s even okay to want to know what ex-boyfriends and flings are up to. I guess, according to Classmates.com, it’s more than normal. But it would sure piss me off to hear my husband talk about it.
Starr Begley can’t help but laugh every time she hears The Scorpion’s “Rock you like a Hurricane” on the radio. MTW