Eh Mailbox Thief!


To the person or persons stealing from roadside mailboxes in Kula: I’m sorry your life is going so badly. I will miss the Tahitian black pearl with puka shell on a leather cord which was sent to me for a special year. I’m sure whoever received my gift from you was thrilled… until they read how you obtained it. You even took parcel notices and claimed them at the Post Office for yourself. These included boxes of sentimental items that belonged to a mother who had recently died. There was no real value to these things–just the memories of a life with a loved one. Did you throw these in the trash since you couldn’t pawn or give them away?

Illustration by Ron Pitts



  • Chris Negrych

    To the nice “religious” man from Utah who was on a Christian Retreat with his fellow church members and all their children at Polo Beach this past Saturday: it was really nice to see such a nice collection of moral people praising Jesus on the beach. It was even nicer to see all the children tear all the plastic wrapping off their dozen or so new Boogie Boards and throw the plastic all over the sand. It really was nice to see all that plastic blow into the water while not one adult attempted to pick it up. And it was super nice of you to tell my 80 year old father to “go f*ck himself” when he suggested that you pick it up. But when the two large spearfisherman showed up and suggested the same it was super nice of you to wade out with a bad attitude and grab what little plastic had not sunk or floated away. Here is some advice Mr. Religious man. Jesus does not pick up after you so do it yourself. And teach your children to do it. And then try to learn little respect for the elderly. Aloha.