You took my car key from the beach bag I left near a tree while I took a little walk with my friend on Baldwin Beach. Because you did that I had to get my car re-keyed. All the people who read this will now know not to leave any valuables unattended–not even for 20 minutes–at Baldwin Beach. The result is that you and your kind have made Baldwin Beach the domain of thieves and fools.
Illustration: Ron Pitts