Eh Brah! What is it with you and your pals? It’s 4am and I get a wake-up buzz from your gas-powered leaf blowers! You are gainfully employed by the property management of the South Shore nightlife park and you get a well-deserved salute from this old combat veteran–but 4am? Every timeshare condo on this island has signs that prohibit “noise” between 8pm and 10am–it’s so people can sleep! Do I get a paycheck from your company? No. But for some reason you’re forcing to get up at an unGodly hour! What’s more, I have to deal with all the stuff you’ve blown into my yard, except I have to use a rake! Come to think of it, I do work for you. When do I get my paycheck?
Illustration: Ron Pitts