Your Horoscope

Cancer (June 21-July 22)
Many rich people don’t know how to spend their wealth. They end up squandering vast sums on ridiculous things that bring nobody pleasure, succor, or rich experience, not even themselves. Ironically, most poor people know exactly what they’d do with a cool million, if they could get their hands on it. Perhaps this concept is in the same league with the aphorism, “Youth is wasted on the young.” Do you feel lucky? You should. Unlike so many, you know precisely how to use exactly what you’ve got, whether it’s beauty, cash, or a fast car. This week, enjoy your wealth, without worrying about acquiring more; you’re already richer than almost everyone else.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)
Perversely, the nature of your skepticism runs thus: the more you want to believe something, the less likely you are to actually take it on faith. Because you’re aware that your own needs or desires might cloud your judgment, you resist indulging them. I admire this tendency—despite the fact that it probably makes your life much more complicated and difficult than if you could just be blindly loyal to some appealing, unproven concept. However, don’t take this attitude to an unhealthy extreme; everything you most want to believe is not automatically wrong. This week, consider the possibility that some of the things you desperately want to be true actually are, and give them all the benefit of the doubt.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
Your realism has run amuck. You’ve let your firm grip on practical considerations become a stranglehold. It’s probably quite important to you, when conceiving and planning your dreams and goals, that you keep them within the realm of the achievable. But don’t underestimate your ability to set precedents by rule-breaking or, better yet—rule-remaking. Review all the tours de force you’ve planned for yourself over the past month. Then up the stakes. Take them at least one and as many as three steps further than you’d originally planned. Why aim low? Shoot for the highest visible target. Odds are, you’ll hit it.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)
Oscar Wilde was right: “Give a man a mask and he’ll tell you the truth.” Sometimes it’s easier to get at those deep, difficult bursts of honest revelation when you’re partially occluded from them. Your trouble is that you’ve been trying to tackle your hardest lessons head-on. When things get too painfully intense, people shut down; their emotions flatline. Don’t put yourself, or anyone else, in that position. Instead, write stories, act shit out, or talk it through using sock puppets, as ridiculous as those things sound. Being silly isn’t so bad: If you can manage to laugh at any time while dealing with the hard stuff, you’re doing well.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
Free-thinking you may be. Rebellious genius you often are. But wholesale antagonistic prick you’re not, usually. Don’t be an asshole and persist out of principle. You justly resent intrusion into what you consider sacrosanct headspace. Unfortunately, this week you’re especially liable to interpret well-meant advice, cautionary tales, or even offers of aid as undesired meddling. Yes, only you have the right to police your own mind. But every sheriff needs deputies. Let your trusted fellows have some say over what you’re up to and where you’re going these days. You’re likely to do it better and get there faster with their help, believe it or not.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
The authority figures in your life may know what’s up, at least this week. It’s probably painful to hear—especially from those you often resent—that one of your dreams isn’t feasible, at least in its current form. But this isn’t just tyrannical naysaying; for once you and your local despots should be on the same page—everyone wants to see this particular dream come to fruition. The problem: you’ve gotten so used to doing things (pardon the cliché) outside the box that it never occurred to you that this particular goal might be more easily and abundantly realized by playing by the rules, instead of bending them.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
Packrat you’re not, exactly. But you do like to save things, or perhaps more accurately, safeguard them. Somewhere in your garage, attic, basement, shed, or rented self-storage space, treasures abound. As without, so within: The way you organize your stuff reflects the way you deploy internal treasures. Lately, that’s meant that the more rare or valuable they are, the less they get used. It might not be time to whip out that antique furniture, those vintage plates, or all those mint-condition vinyl LPs. But it is time to venture into the walk-in freezer of your soul and start thawing the softest, most tender parts of your heart. You’ll need them soon.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
How many elephants will you need? Let me explain my question. Shortly after they opened the Brooklyn Bridge in 1883, a rumor about its imminent collapse triggered a panicked stampede that killed 12 people. Fears about its instability persisted until 1884, when P.T. Barnum paraded across the bridge with 21 elephants and 17 camels, to demonstrate its soundness. Fascinating folklore, and relevant, too: You know where you’re going. You even know how to get there. Yet you hesitate, while your friends and allies march whole herds of heavy animals across the bridge to your next chapter, just to prove to you it’s possible. Won’t you join them, already?

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)
Narcissism isn’t a usual Piscean vice. But your persistent attempts to understand yourself and how you’re perceived by the world could be interpreted as unbridled vanity. Even though I know it’s not egotism, I still recommend you temporarily quit your extended mirror-contemplations. Stay away from polished surfaces, lengthy, self-analytical journal entries, and teary, soul-searching monologues to your therapist or confidantes this week. It’s not that you should cease trying to fathom your own depths, only that you shouldn’t try so hard. This week, you’re most likely to see yourself most clearly when you’re not actually looking.

Aries (March 21-April 19)
Sports cars, motorcycles, ATVs, skates: whatever an Aries can use to “get there faster,” he will. Explain to any member of your tribe that the journey is usually way more important than the destination, and she’ll reply: “Yes, and I like my journey to be very fast and exciting.” This week that enviable attitude is your worst enemy. Slow down. Take every chance you get to pull off the road, take scenic photographs, pick flowers, and pee in the bushes. I shiver to think of all the intoxicating treasures, door-opening secrets, and subtle keys to new intensities of love that you’ll miss if you don’t.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)
A Madagascan butterfly flapping its wings could catalyze weather patterns that result in a destructive North American hurricane. It’s unlikely, sure—but I want you to understand it’s possible, so you don’t underestimate your own ripple effect. This week, even your tiniest actions are likely to trigger eminently unpredictable compound reactions, to an epic scale. Everything you put out there—from dollars to offhand ideas to works of art—can (and probably will) go on to influence countless people in ways you can never know. Don’t be paralyzed by the unknowable consequences of your choices; be activated by them. This week’s actions will return to you eventually, essentially the same, but so magnified and transmuted you might not recognize them. In other words: Be good, and the universe will eventually be very, very good back.

Gemini (May 21-June 20)
Out of all the signs in the zodiac, I understand you the least, Gemini. I adore you; my many Gemini friends are universally engaging, sweet, and popular, amongst many other fine qualities. But you’re also as hard to quantify and pin down as swamp gas. Your unpredictability can be exciting and entertaining—but it’s also a little scary to those you’d like to be closest to. Don’t clue me or most people in; we enjoy the mystery of your occasional seeming randomness. But the level of trust and intimacy you crave can only be achieved by sharing the secret of your motivations. Are you ready for that deeper love? Go get it, now that you know how.

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