Taurus (April 20-May 20)
Fix the slow drip on your kitchen tap, or seal that drafty bedroom window, or repair those hard feelings with your landlord. You can do any number of little things this week that will make your house feel safer, more secure, and more comfortable; in other words, more like a haven, a home. You need that security more than you think–which you’ll realize, with relief, once you have it. Also, it’s far more achievable than you ever imagined. Yeah, it’s never going to be perfect, but it could be a lot better than it is, with a minimum of effort. Get to it.
Gemini (May 21-June 20)
Bad relationship patterns, like insomnia, can easily spiral out of control. Let me explain: You have trouble sleeping one night. The next night, you worry about having insomnia again, and so of course you do. And so on. The same thing can happen in a relationship. You hit a bump in the road that’s like one you’ve experienced before, with someone else. Your fearfulness feeds into distrust instead of feelings of connection and fun, and before you know it, the road is riddled with potholes that weren’t there before. Stop worrying right now, because it’ll only make things worse. You hit a bump? Slam on the gas, not the brakes.
Cancer (June 21-July 22)
Cancers are fanatically loyal to their families–tragically, the feeling’s not always mutual. What some Cancers see as protective love, others can view as stifling control. For you, love transcends all. For some people, stuff like politics, practicalities, and the need for privacy can get in the way. Nothing’s likely to change this week about who’s close to you, and who’s not–except for your attitude. It’s an ideal time to come to terms with the shape your family’s in, good or bad, and assess whether or not improving it is actually in your power. If not, best to let it go, no?
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)
Movin’ on up… You could have that deluxe apartment in the sky soon, or its metaphorical equivalent, provided you roll up your sleeves and put in some effort this week. You now have the chance to network with big fish from reservoirs larger than your relatively tiny pond. It’s time to get out there and sell yourself—but be careful. Some people grab the spotlight, and feel like they have to put on a show to justify it. Resist that urge. You’re already larger than life; adding drama will just make you gaudy and unlikable. Be absolutely real. That’s all you need: your normal everyday self and a bright light. Try it. You’ll shine.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
Get the hell outside. Your apartment is clean enough, damn it. There’s a big exciting world out there beyond your well-organized existence. It may even be in need of some of your energy, but that’s not important. What matters is what you need, whether you realize it or not: thrills, new experiences, inspiring people. All you have to do is go out and find them. It may take some work, so don’t give up and go back to organizing all your stuff when nothing jumps out at you on your five-minute walk around the block. Go to where the energy is. You know where I mean. You’ll find what you’re looking for there, and then some.
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)
Every city I’ve lived in has had its share of “wild” animal denizens, living alongside humanity. New York’s full of rats; San Francisco, raccoons. Los Angeles plays host to coyote. Berlin has foxes. Each of these species has carved out its modern existence by successfully adapting to new circumstances and environments. I mention these animals–often referred to as “pests”–because their strengths is yours, as well. You have the adaptability to survive and thrive in swiftly changing situations–only sometimes you don’t let yourself do it. Go with the flow, Libra. It’s nature’s way. And being on the endangered species list isn’t as glamorous as it sounds.
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
A battle of wills looms. Don’t go rushing off to don an emotional suit of armor and pick weapons, though. Instead, go naked into the fray and see what happens. One of your intimate relationships is at a turning point. You’ll either fall (or explode) apart, perhaps never to come together again, or you’ll achieve a new level of closeness and trust. Getting to that enviable place will probably involve some serious emotional cleansing. It’s hard work, and being encumbered with weapons and chainmail would only make it impossible. Yeah, that means your “enemy” can get near enough to tear out your hair, but also close enough to kiss and make up.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
How honest are you about your relationships? Most Sags, especially when they’re young, take a lot more than they give. This can lead to habits that get you into trouble in more serious long-term relationships. At some point–like this week–your partner will demand some balancing of the scales. If they’re asking for more from you, don’t get defensive or start backing out. Chances are, you owe it to them. Maybe not; only you can ultimately judge what you’re able and willing to give. My advice? If there’s any doubt at all, give your lovely loved one its benefit.
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
Work is piling up. This is a crappy time to look far into your future, because whatever brightness lies there will be obscured by the mountains of little shit stacked up in front of you. It’s overwhelming, but try not to let it get to you. Diligence and discipline are two of your strengths, thank goodness, because you’ll need them now. Don’t worry about next year, next month, or even next week. You’ve got enough work on your plate right this second. Finish that. Then we’ll talk about dessert.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
You’re a blank slate, an empty page. You’re a virgin, about to let yourself be deflowered. No, that’s too passive. You’re a virgin, about to go out and screw the hell out of someone. That’s more accurate. Obviously, I’m using sex as a metaphor; I know you’re not really a virgin. Still, it’s important that you choose well on this new frontier. What (or who) you do now could be very important in the future, and affect everything that comes after. Make sure you get off to a good start, or you’ll never get to the finish line at the end of this particular path.
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)
The reason for your recent voracious hunger is easy–you’ve been preparing for a metamorphosis that begins this week. Just like a cute little caterpillar, you devour everything you can get your mouth around, until the overwhelming urge to hide in a cozy chrysalis hits you. Your periodic cocooning is normal, and necessary, despite the world’s loud demands. I urge you to resist them. The longer and deeper you can immerse yourself in your practice of resurrection, the bigger, brighter, and more beautiful your wings will be when you eventually emerge.
Aries (March 21-April 19)
You’re a pillow at the moment: all soft, receptive and squishy. Unfortunately, when some people encounter something so malleable, all they want to do is punch it, throw it around, sit on it, or use it to muffle their farts. Your challenge, despite this harsh treatment, is to avoid growing a crusty hard shell or filling your insides with bricks. Become bigger than it by absorbing it but still retaining your fluffy, amiable shape, and welcoming attitude. Eventually, you’ll find someone who appreciates this side of you; it’d be a shame if those who came before ruined it for that very deserving person.
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