Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)
Being nitpicky could be your downfall this week. I know you want everything to be “just so,” and you have some very good ideas about how things should play out, but you can’t control everything; in fact, there’s very little about this week’s situations that you can control. Trying to whine, bitch, or issue commands to compel everything to conform to your liking will only make you appear anal, spoiled, and petty, on top of still not getting you what you want. I don’t expect you to suddenly become a low-maintenance person overnight. Just turn the volume down, would you please?
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
There it is, that dream you had, perfectly preserved in amber. Nothing about it’s changed; it hasn’t deteriorated one bit–but it hasn’t improved or evolved, either. It’s effectively dead. You can admire it, long for it, display it proudly or with shame, but you can’t resurrect it. That particular goal is forever beyond you now. This week, however, your life vaguely resembles Jurassic Park. You can salvage something from this extinct idea, a bit of mental DNA. Mix it with some of the new stuff you’ve been brewing and you might actually have something good, something viable. Something alive and ready to grow.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
Your willingness to experiment has occasionally hurt people. It’s the unfortunate fallout that comes of taking something on that you’re not certain you’re up for. But what else are you supposed to do? Sometimes the only way to figure out if you’re into something is to try it. All you can do is be honest with those involved that it’s just an experiment and it might not work out. That might not be enough to completely avoid bruised feelings, but it’s all you can (and should) do. The alternative is not trying new stuff until you’re absolutely certain that it’s exactly the right thing for you. And how boring and pointless would that be?
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
By now every smart Capricorn has learned the lesson of backing up your data in at least two or three different places. Otherwise, all it takes is one hard drive crash and you’re screwed. Naturally, life isn’t so simple. If you crash a relationship, you can’t take it back to the last stable spot and reboot it from there, avoiding the mistakes the second time around which caused the crash during the first run. You get one shot; second chances aren’t the same as a fresh start–they’re too colored by the mess-ups that came before. Keep that in mind–before you make a mistake you can’t take back.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
Aquarians aren’t usually big on the whole group identity thing. While you possess a strong sympathy for your fellow humans, there’s something about defining yourself as part of a specific group that rubs you the wrong way. At the same time, you let yourself be subject to these periodic bouts of loneliness and isolation, the perfect cure for which is being part of some kind of community. I don’t expect you to suddenly become a gleeful joiner, but you’re also not going to ever be perfectly happy doing the hermit/loner thing. Find someplace where you belong. It’ll do you good.
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)
Sometimes it’s all about the smell of a flower. A favorite television show. A smile with a stranger. Hell, life might all be essentially meaningless and pointless and end in lightless oblivion. But that doesn’t mean it can’t be enjoyed. Maybe nothing ever amounts to anything. But there are millions of little things that don’t need to amount to anything to be perfectly wonderful. When you’re overburdened with existentialist ennui, try not to think or worry about all that big unknowable shit. Just focus on the simple meaningless stuff that doesn’t need to be big.
Aries (March 21-April 19)
What is identity? I look on my former selves like my five-year-old self or my 19 year-old self, and they are different people to who I am now. I’m more similar to some people I meet than I am to those former incarnations, with whom I share only memories, not taste in music, attitudes, or aspirations. You’ve changed even more than I have; you’re one of the most dynamic people I know. So why let yourself feel so limited because of who you were? Yeah, your teenage self might not have been up to what you’re dreaming of. Even the person you were yesterday might not be capable of it. But the person you are today is capable–if you don’t get stuck on all the yous that weren’t.
Taurus (April 20-May 20)
Do you ever stop to think about the many little miracles you take for granted? How amazing is it that you can punch a few numbers into a little chunk of technology in your hand and talk, instantly, to your buddy in New Zealand? Technological progress is one tangible thing we can point to that changes the repeating themes of human history from a circle to a spiral, both on a grand scale and a very personal one. Things you wouldn’t have conceived of as possible ten years ago–like a long-distance relationship, for one obvious example–are now much more of a reality. Don’t rule them out as a matter of course.
Gemini (May 21-June 20)
I think the best human solutions are those that take into account the incredible diversity of human experience. Binary answers to complicated problems are just too plain simplistic to really work. In the short-term, they might seem more dramatic or effective, but in the end they’re simply not viable. How do you make room, especially when you’re dealing with a group, for the more complex solutions that are actually required? That’s the question that you’ve got to answer this week, and I’m useless; I don’t know, either. What I do know is this: If you don’t figure out a way, no one will, and we’ll all be stuck with the devastating end result.
Cancer (June 21-July 22)
You loathe having your loyalty questioned. You’d do anything for those you love, which is why it’s so irksome when someone asks you to prove it. If someone were drowning in icy water you’d jump in to save them. But this theoretical posturing–where you’d have to prove you’d jump in, without actually being in that situation–is almost impossible to deal with. You’ve been torturing yourself over it, haven’t you? It’s just not worth it, my dear. Either they have faith in you or they don’t. Go ahead and save them when they need it. But until then, don’t bother trying to convince them you would.
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)
I’m a big fan of self-belief, just like you. The only way to achieve something grand–even absurdly, improbably grand–is to believe it to be possible. To decide that it’s unattainable is to give up before you’ve begun. I’m not preaching to you. I mean, you practically taught this to me. But your job’s not done. Someone else desperately needs to learn how to properly dream. They’re writing off their highest hopes as unachievable fantasy–which of course makes it so. You and I know it doesn’t need to be like that. Convince them of the same, would you?
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
You purport to prefer everything clean, categorized, and coordinated, but the truth is you’re obsessed with mystery. You organize the boring shit so you can devote more attention and energy to the fascinating people and things that don’t fit into any box–the ones you can actually learn something from. Unfortunately, your chaos-clearing impulses have gotten out of hand; the reason you’re bored is because mystery has moved out. It’s tricky to allow the unknown back into your life once you’ve swept it out. You can’t just clear out a closet and say, “Look, fly in here. I’ve made some space.” You’ve actually got to open all the windows and doors and then close your eyes. Let it happen. Smile. This’ll be fun.
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