Eh Concierge! Think of the turtles, brah!

Eh concierge! With all the wonderful things to do on Maui, did you really have to tell visitors where the sea turtles haul-up? Is nothing sacred? Sure, you’ll get better tips, but at what cost? The sea turtles have it hard enough. They are not here solely for our entertainment. They’re trying to rest. And […]

Eh Hookipa creepers: stop cat-calling my daughter and me!

This goes out to the guys hanging out at the Ho’okipa Beach Park pavilion who I guess had nothing better to do a few weeks ago than cat-call my daughter and I while we were out trying to catch some sun. It got so bad I had to yell at you to shut up. Seriously […]

Eh rhythmically challenged Little Beach drummers!

To the rhythmically challenged weekend Little Beach drummers who absolutely can’t carry a beat: your childlish pounding ruins a beautiful day at the beach for everyone within earshot. How about practicing alone and sparing us your banging? It’s not good, though it is loud. Illustration by Ron Pitts About Eh BrahMail | More Posts (99)

Eh arrogant organic-eating SUV-driving yoga teacher!

Eh, yoga teacher: We know you walk around town in skimpy clothes and eat organic. And that you have a dog. Many people do these things, but somehow get through life without thinking that they’re better than everyone else. You, not so much. We’re tired of you refusing to wait for a parking spot and […]

Eh Rude Auntie!

Eh Auntie: After dropping off donations at Goodwill, I got in line to buy a 99 cent vase. The man in line in front of me was nice enough to let me cut, since I just had the one item. But when I got to the register and the clerk gave me the total, you […]

Eh, Brave Airline Passenger!

I never got a chance to thank you, the beautiful woman who sat next to me on a recent flight from Oahu to Kahului. I really hate flying, and it wasn’t long into the flight that we experienced turbulence. I was scared, but we ended up conversing, and that just eased all that worry away for […]

Eh Avocado-Loving Jerk!

Eh lady: I thought you pulled over to help me with my brokedown car. But when I let you know I had help on the way, you yelled “What are you talking about? I just stopped to buy avocados.” Here, I thought you were being kind, but in fact you were just completely self-involved. Thanks […]

Eh Would-Be Thief!

This is a message to that tall, thin, blonde would-be thief who snatched the lady’s purse in Costco parking lot. I’m the man who kept you from being successful with your crime. Was it really necessary to cut me up like you did? You’re a coward and a thief whose days on the street will […]

Eh Jerk Father!

Eh, father of the year: You showed up at the restaurant where my wife works, ordered a plate for yourself, made your wife pay and didn’t get anything for your two kids. They asked you to get something for them, but you didn’t. Then you ate your plate in front of your family. On top […]

Anthony Pignataro

About Anthony Pignataro

Anthony Pignataro has been a journalist since 1996. He started work as MauiTime's Editor in 2003, took a couple years off starting in 2008, then returned to the staff in 2011. He's the author of "Stealing Cars With The Pros," a 2013 collection of his journalism and the Maui novels "Small Island" (2011) and "The Dead Season" (2012)–all of which were published by Event Horizon Press. In 2014, his one-act play "War Stories" won second place in the Maui Fringe Festival.

Eh Nice Driver!

Mahalo to big strong braddah who pulled over for me when my Crossfire broke down going into Lahaina! All 106 pounds of me was having a lot of trouble pushing my two ton-car out of the road when you pulled over like a knight and saved the day. I didn’t get to say thank you […]